Best of 2023
Classic Children’s Books Updated for Our Time
Cloudy with a Chance of Lab-Grown Meatballs, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day of Meetings That Could Have Been Emails, And more!
Entries by Kate Antoniades
Originals
Questions That Couples on Love Is Blind Should Ask Next Season for Way More Successful Relationships
How many times do you typically snooze your alarm in the morning? What is the correct pronunciation of GIF? Is Die Hard a Christmas movie? Why or why not? And more!
Originals
QUIZ: Do You Have a Celebrity Crush or an Unhealthy Attraction to Sexy Psychopaths?
Which of the following do you fantasize about? a. A night of hot sex with the actor who portrays the villain, being fully aware that you may never see him again, and he may not remember your name. b. A night of hot sex with the villain (you know he’ll never kink-shame you) being fully aware that he may forgo a postcoital cuddle in favor of sneaking out to perform assorted evil deeds
Originals
Ms. Bauer’s 5th Grade School Supply List (and Coping Mechanism) for 2021–2022
72 No. 2 Pencils (latex-free): These MUST be pre-sharpened. We’ve lost so much instruction time since March 2020 that we simply cannot waste precious minutes of the school day using the pencil sharpener. (Your kids will probably bring most of these home at the end of the year, unused.)
Originals
Popular Romantic Comedies Rewritten for 2021
500 Days of Summer Might Convince People That Climate Change Is Real, There’s Something About Mary That Makes You Think She’s the Kind of Person Who’d Fill Plastic Bags with Gasoline, Four Maskless Weddings That Led to at Least One Funeral, and more!
Best of 2020
Children’s Books in the Time of COVID
Charlotte’s Web of Coronavirus Conspiracy Theories, How to Train Your Dragon to Eat Anti-Maskers, The Very Hungry Caterpillar Has Been Less Interested in Eating Since Losing His Sense of Smell, and more.
Originals
I’m Your Fitness Tracker, and I’m Worried About You
I also feel like our relationship has suffered. When you originally customized my settings, you asked me to provide hourly “Get Up and Move!” alerts during your waking hours. But lately, you’ve been deleting these prompts by jabbing roughly at my screen. Remember, only a light tap of your finger is necessary!
Originals
Quarantine Reflections on Some Common Sayings
You can’t judge a book by its cover, but you can totally judge a person who wears their face mask on their chin.
Best of 2020
Classic Novels Rewritten for the Coronavirus Pandemic
The Great Gatsby Regrets Having That Party Because Now He Has to Disinfect His Whole Damn House
