Best of 2020

Classic Novels Rewritten for the Coronavirus Pandemic 

The Great Gatsby Regrets Having That Party Because Now He Has to Disinfect His Whole Damn House

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings Because I Haven’t Left my House in Seven Weeks

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory That Isn’t Providing Adequate Protection to Its Workers

The Secret Garden Is a Great Place to Grow Your Own Vegetables to Cut Down on Grocery Store Trips

Gone with the Wind That Probably Contains Aerosolized Coronavirus Particles

The Brothers Karamazov Are Really Getting on Each Others’ Nerves During Quarantine

A Tale of Two Cities, One of Which Lifted Coronavirus Restrictions Too Early and Suffered the Consequences

The Bell Jar Is Full of Inedible Raspberry Jam from That Ill-Advised New Canning Hobby

One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich That Included Way Too Many Zoom Meetings

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn and It’s Really Benefitting from the Big Reduction in Air Pollution

To Kill a Mockingbird Is Really Not a Healthy Way of Dealing with Pandemic Stress, So Please Don’t

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance Are Two Interests You May Want to Explore with Your Increased Free Time

Go Tell It on the Mountain Because You’re Standing Too Close and I Need You to Get Off My Property