How great is it that I can blaze up some stew and stroll wherever I please—a river walk like this one, or a botanic garden, or a national monument folks have waited their whole lives to visit—while farting to my heart’s content? How great that everyone finally recognizes that our nation’s most wondrous spaces are even more wondrous when they smell like Joey Chestnut’s bathroom?
This Sunday, in lieu of your fine products, each household on my distribution list will receive a special NFT (in France, an N Oeuf T): a one-of-a-kind virtual plastic egg filled with virtual candy.
Pinocchio Runs for Office, The Peeved Piper, Not So Snow White and so many more in this twisted collection of adult fairy tales! This hilarious collection of poems by Melissa Balmain puts a grown-up, contemporary spin on the stories and characters we all learned as children, from Little Red Riding Hood, to the Three Bears, the Pied Piper, and Cinderella; each delightfully depicted in full-color by Ron Barrett, (Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs) one of the best and award winning illustrators in the business. Now #1 in new releases on Amazon! Get your copy today!
The Northern Card, aka the Mockingturd, spends its days pecking out puns, forced metaphors, and other desperate attempts to make light of the End Times. Call (repeated hourly): “Pleeeeez go viral.”
“Netflix’s gritty adaptation of Anne of Green Gables will return in 2018 for season 2. … Anne with an E creator Moira Walley-Beckett, who worked on Breaking Bad, said that she took a grittier and more realistic take on the timeless classic.”—express.co.uk “Netflix’s dark, gritty reboot of Anne of Green Gables has all the subtlety of […]
“Female cosmetic genital surgery is rapidly gaining popularity.”—Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery, April 2018 “… throngs of women of all ages and socio-economic backgrounds are now rushing to their surgeons to undergo the following procedures: ●Labia reduction surgery ●Hyperpigmentation treatments ●Mons pubis reduction ●Fat grafting or injections to the labia majora ●Clitoral hood reduction ●G-shot injections […]
