Bingeworthy New Kidlit Adaptations, Coming Soon From The Producers Of Breaking Bad
“Netflix’s gritty adaptation of Anne of Green Gables will return in 2018 for season 2. … Anne with an E creator Moira Walley-Beckett, who worked on Breaking Bad, said that she took a grittier and more realistic take on the timeless classic.”—express.co.uk
“Netflix’s dark, gritty reboot of Anne of Green Gables has all the subtlety of a chalkboard smashed over your head.”—Slate
Orange Is the New Purple: Harold’s crayon habits—described by prosecutors as “literally graffitiing everywhere”—land him in juvie.
TransPaddington: Will the Brown family still accept him when they learn he identifies as an alpaca?
Stranger Thing One and Thing Two: During a home invasion by an otherworldly cat and his henchmen, two kids’ lives are turned violently upside down.
Junie B. Jessica Jones: Junie’s the bestest sneaky-peeky detective, except when she’s on a yucky-blucky bender.
Black Mirror on the Wall: If you thought the evil queen was scary before, wait till she traps Snow White in a plausible, only slightly updated Amazon Echo.
Tweeds: Mary finds her secret garden overrun with smokable plants and joins a Yorkshire cartel.
Under Six Feet: Thanks to everyone flattened by their Giant Peach, James and the ladybug launch a successful mortuary.
The Americats: How long can Tabitha Twitchett hide her true identity—and her Beretta 84FS—from Mittens and Tom Kitten?
The Walking Fed: After days of nonstop bingeing, the very hungry caterpillar staggers, zombielike, into an eating-disorder clinic.
Guestworld: Eloise’s life at The Plaza is shattered when she realizes she’s an android who exists for the pleasure of Weenie and Skipperdee.
House of Carbs: If you give this mouse a cookie, he’ll take over the whole goddamn bakery.
Breaking Jaws: Willie Wonka and Charlie make some surprisingly addictive blue gobstoppers.
Melissa Balmain’s latest book is The Witch Demands a Retraction: Fairy-Tale Reboots for Adults (Humorist Books). She edits Light, a journal of comic verse. Her work has appeared in The American Bystander, Lighten Up Online, McSweeney’s, The New Yorker, The New York Times, Rattle, The Satirist, The Washington Post, and elsewhere. She tweets @MelissaBalmain