Awkward Moments for Ethel Merman to Burst Into the Room Singing “Hello Dolly”

Girlfriend: Aw, you’re so sweet baby. There’s no one I’d rather be with.

 

Boyfriend: Jessica?! Who is this guy and why are you in my bed with him?

 

Ethel Merman bursts into the room, wearing a pink ball gown.

 

Ethel Merman: HELLOOOooooOOOO!!

 

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Pastor: We are gathered here today to mourn the passing of a great man–

 

Ethel Merman sits straight up in the coffin. 

 

Ethel Merman: HELLooooOOOO, RUDY!!!

 

She looks around, realizing it’s a funeral. 

 

Ethel Merman: I am so sorry for your loss.

 

Child: Where did Uncle Jack go?

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Officiant: Does anyone object to this union? Speak now or forever hold your peace.

 

Man: I’ve loved you since high school, Cheryl. I could never find the courage to say that until right this moment.

 

Ethel Merman bursts into the room, wearing a wedding dress.

 

Ethel Merman: HELLOOOOOO, divorce papers!!

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Judge: The jury hereby finds the defendant guilty on all charges, including arson, battery, and assault with a deadly weapon–

 

Ethel Merman bursts into the courtroom, wearing an orange jumpsuit.

 

Ethel Merman: Well, hellOOOOO, HARRY!

 

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Boyfriend (on Zoom): And then I would kiss you again, and…

 

Girlfriend (on Zoom): Keep going!

 

Ethel Merman bursts into the Zoom meeting, wearing clown shoes.

 

Ethel Merman: HELLOOOOOO, orgasm!!!

 

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Cashier: I’m sorry ma’am, but this card was declined. Do you have another one I can try?

 

Customer: That’s my only card. I could have sworn it wasn’t overdrawn…

 

Ethel Merman pops up from behind a stack of Granny Smith Apples, wearing a reusable Whole Foods shopping bag.

 

Ethel Merman: HELLOOOOOO, Wells Fargo customer service hotline!!!

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Mohel: Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, Who has sanctified us with His commandments and commanded us concerning circumcision.

 

Ethel Merman bursts into the room, wearing a yarmulke and prayer shawl.

 

Ethel Merman: Well, hellOOOOOOO, THERAPY!!!

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