Back Cover Blurbs for Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir, “What Happened”
“Let Fake News Media like AmazonWashingtonPost and FailingNewYorkTimes praise Crooked Hillary all they want. This is a complete and total disaster. No winning! SAD!”
-President Donald Trump
“Though shocked by Chelsea’s mother’s vicious depiction of my father and our family [of brands], I did find a few quotes to use in future Instagram posts highlighting my passion for feminism.”
-Ivanka Trump, Senior Advisor to the President
“This book lacked the broad-shouldered leadership I look for in a manuscript. Mother did not approve of it, and nor did I. #Pence2020 #BroadShoulders”
-Vice President Mike Pence
“Alternative or not, the fact is [Hillary] failed to shatter the glass ceiling with this book. I haven’t been this devastated since Bowling Green.”
-Kellyanne Conway, Senior Counselor to the President
“Well, recuse me! I don’t recall a more appalling and detestable book such as this. By God in Heaven!”
-Attorney General Jeff Sessions
“To all readers, I don’t want to create a misleading impression, but I wanted you to hear directly from me about this: ‘What Happened’ had nothing to do with me.”
-Former FBI Director James Comey
“I will stop all petty political disagreements to say this book is the ultimate tarmac meeting with the alt-left propaganda MSM and Hillary Rodham Clinton. #Hannity.”
-Fox News Commentator Sean Hannity
“I hate to melt your little hearts, snowflakes, but I’ll tell you what happened. Hillary Clinton happened. My final thoughts: skip this book and watch me. Stay triggered!”
-Conservative Pundit, Tomi Lahren
“Grab a pizza and lock yourself up with this book, comrades. Na zdorovye!”
-Former National Security Advisor Michael Flynn
“I laughed a deep, bellowing laugh, one you only hear in your nightmares, one akin to a demon’s cackle, the crack and whip of pure evil, like that of faces lit in torch light, chanting, screaming, filled with rage, like that of your server at Dave’s All-American Diner—Sherri was her name, how she seethes inside, having to serve you, or like Uncle Carl, his fists clenched, biting his lip when you bring your new boyfriend over, all of that hatred, just under the surface, so deliciously funny! And what’s best is, the thing that I am, is what they are, what we are, how we unite once again, our battle commencing. We will not be bitch-slapped! Hark! We will rise again, like a furious legion of warriors, emerging from the shadows, swords raised at the ready, to defeat all who stand in our way, all who might think that a woman—a woman!—might be president!”
-Steve Bannon, Former Chief Strategist to the President
“Neat!”
-Jared Corey Kushner, Senior Advisor to the President
- About the Author
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Taylor García is a full-time traveling salesman, husband, and father of two rambunctious toddler boys. When not wiping up something, he writes short stories, essays, and ekes out the occasional poem to justify his MFA. His work has appeared in Litro, Fifth Wednesday Journal, 3AM Magazine, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, and he has a novel (or two) awaiting a seven-figure contract. He lives in and out of traffic in Southern California.
