Biggest Surprises Revealed In JFK Assassination Files…
The “magic bullet theory” was originally theorized by an anonymous investigator who, as it turns out, was simply attempting to frame David Copperfield.
Lee Harvey Oswald was actually sent back in time from the future in order to save Kennedy, but ultimately failed in his mission by getting distracted reading Sex Ed books in the Texas School Book Depository.
Jacqueline Onassis wasn’t genuinely too upset about being splashed with the blood and brain matter of her husband, but was “significantly perturbed” by ample amounts of same finding their way into her blueberry yogurt.
The official findings of the Warren Commission found that while the events of Nov 22nd, 1963 were tragic and a true loss for the country, things would have “ probably gone even worse in Oklahoma”.
Recently released documents reveal that while Cuba itself probably played no part in the assassination, the Cuban Kool & The Gang cover band Celebracion may have been involved somehow.
Jack Ruby may have targeted Oswald not as retaliation for the assassination, but rather because Oswald “totally destroyed” the commode in stall number three of the men’s room in Ruby’s Carousel Club the evening prior to the assassination.
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Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence
