Budget Cut Reading List

Trump’s budget cuts will no doubt have a negative effect on this country’s juvenile detention centers, which means that the quality of the literature donated to these facilities may suffer quite a bit as well.

As proof, here’s this year’s approved list of assigned reading materials from current state-run juvenile detention centers:

Teabagging Gwynn by Judy Blume

Everyone Poops When They’ve Hung Themselves In The Common Room by Taro Gome

I Fed Ned!   A True Life Account By Someone Who Rang Up His Order at Burger King Once by Darlene Toofs


Mommy, Why Does That Man Smell Like Tinkle?  A Choose Your Own Adventure Story by Futuristic Cyborg Scott Baio

Was It Something I Said?  Jokes & Limericks That You Shouldn’t Read Backwards by the Devil

Applesauce Enemas!  And Other Fun Post Glue-Sniffing Activities by Orlando Scrotuminski Sr.

The Birds & The Cosby’s:   Including Celebrity Deviants And Predators In That Special Talk by Dr. Phil’s Ice World Dimension Doppelganger

Second Banana To Gilbert Grape:  My Leo Story by the fat lady from Gilbert Grape

Lil’ Red Riding In The Hood, And Other Urban Updates From MotherFuckin’ Goose by Tim Allen’s Dental Hygienist