Excerpt from Mick Jagger’s Time in Analysis
MICK JAGGER: I can’t get no satisfaction.
THERAPIST: I’m sorry, one more time?
MICK JAGGER: I can’t get no satisfaction.
THERAPIST: Why do you say that?
MICK JAGGER: ’Cause I try and I try and I try and I try.
THERAPIST: Did something happen that triggered you?
MICK JAGGER: When I’m drivin’ in my car, and the man comes on the radio.
THERAPIST: Say more about that.
MICK JAGGER: He’s tellin’ me more and more about some useless information. Supposed to fire my imagination.
THERAPIST: Mmhmm…
MICK JAGGER: I can’t get no, oh, no, no, no.
THERAPIST: Mmhmm…
MICK JAGGER: Hey, hey, hey!
THERAPIST: I’m listening! Just writing some notes.
MICK JAGGER: That’s what I say.
THERAPIST: Yep, I heard you. I like to refer back to these after our sessions.
MICK JAGGER: I can’t get no satisfaction.
THERAPIST: So what I’m hearing is—
MICK JAGGER: I can’t get no satisfaction.
THERAPIST: Exactly.
MICK JAGGER: I try and I try and I try and I try.
THERAPIST: Can you think of another activity that makes you feel so unsatisfied?
MICK JAGGER: When I’m watchin’ my TV.
THERAPIST: And what happens then?
MICK JAGGER: A man comes on and tells me how white my shirts can be. But, he can’t be a man ’cause he doesn’t smoke the same cigarettes as me —
THERAPIST: Let’s hit pause. Tell me in your words what it means “to be a man.”
MICK JAGGER: I can’t…
THERAPIST: You can’t…
MICK JAGGER: Get no.
THERAPIST: Here, take a tissue.
MICK JAGGER: No, no, no.
THERAPIST: Okay. Well, is it possible that your ideas surrounding masculinity might be a bit…limited? Would you describe your father as a real ‘man’?
MICK JAGGER: Hey, hey, hey!
THERAPIST: Oh right. My apologies, Mick. I forgot, we’re not to go there.
MICK JAGGER: That’s what I say.
THERAPIST: I know.
MICK JAGGER: I can’t get no satisfaction.
THERAPIST: Isn’t this starting to feel a bit repetitive for you?
MICK JAGGER: I can’t get no girl reaction.
THERAPIST: That doesn’t sound like what you told me in last week’s session.
MICK JAGGER: ’Cause I try, and I try, and I try.
THERAPIST: I’m noticing a pattern.
MICK JAGGER: When I’m ridin’ ‘round the world, and I’m doin’ this and I’m signin’ that. And I’m tryin’ to make some girl, who tells me “baby, better come back, maybe next week.”
THERAPIST: Mmmm.
MICK JAGGER: Can’t you see I’m on a losing streak?
THERAPIST: Losing in what way?
MICK JAGGER: I can’t get no, oh, no, no, no.
THERAPIST: It can be hard to build trust, especially when you’re traveling so much and —
MICK JAGGER: Hey, hey, hey.
THERAPIST: Mmmhmm?
MICK JAGGER: That’s what I say.
THERAPIST: I hear you. Unfortunately, I think that’s all the time we have. How does Thursday work for you?
MICK JAGGER: I can’t get —
THERAPIST: Oh right, you have the concert. Are you looking forward to performing?
MICK JAGGER: No.
THERAPIST: Better come back, maybe next week?
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Emily Kling is a writer based in New Haven, CT, where she is currently pursuing her MBA degree from the Yale School of Management. Her work has appeared in The Weekly Humorist, Points in Case, Little Old Lady Comedy, and The Belladonna. While Emily is often late, she is rarely fashionable. Find her on Twitter @EmilyKling2 or at www.emilyannekling.com.
