Exclusive! Chapter Titles Of John Bolton’s Upcoming Book!

Chapter One:  Stash-dance
Trump was almost able to convince him to remodel the Situation Room as an exact replica of Studio 54, but he finally thought better of it when Trump refused to allow a cover charge discount for veterans.

Chapter Two:  Stash Wax On, Stash Wax Off
His mustache keeps him from being able to enjoy caramel apples except on very special occasions, but on those occasions, the flies that the sticky leftover mess attracts make for a delicious between meal snack.

Chapter Three:  A Stash Full Of Bashful
Trump is spending millions of dollars funding scientifically researched attempts to trap Lindsay Graham in a mirror, so that he can own a magical mirror just like the Evil Queen in Snow White.

Chapter Four:  Will Stash for Cash
He still believes that toppling Saddam Hussein was the correct choice, mostly due to the fact that Saddam’s extensive collection of Beanie Babies helped fill out the holes in his own collection.

Chapter Five:  Stash Wars
He’s disappointed that a warmonger like himself, and a whoremonger like Trump, couldn’t find more common ground upon which to mong.

Chapter Six:  A Passion For Stashin’
While on leave early in his military career, was tantalized by the images of a Latina exotic dancer performing her act in a cage, and more recently discovered those same familiar feelings igniting upon viewing other Latinos in similar cages.

Chapter Seven:  Mister Pi-Stash-io
Isn’t saying that he’s partially responsible for the recent death of Mr. Peanut, but isn’t exactly denying it either.

Chapter Eight:  Stashing The Evidence
Was invited by Trump to tag along to one of Jeffrey Epstein’s infamous parties, but once they both arrived, was asked to instead stay outside and stand guard over the bicycles belonging to the female party guests.