Fun Summer Activities at U.S. Immigration Camp Internment!

  • Bunk Buddies! — Gain the confidence of being on your own with the benefits of no personal space.

  • Freedom from Natural Sunlight and Fake News  —  We cover the windows, not so you can’t see out, but so the media can’t see in.

  • Heatstroke Singalongs!  —  Live the Boy Scout dream of residing in Tent Cities  in the Texas Sun.

  • Tinfoil Blankets  —  What good is sleep if you can’t feel the warm crinkle-crinkle of metal against your skin?

  • Chain Link Curtains  — Y’know, for decoration!


  • Concrete Jungle Gym — Experience the sheer joy of playing soccer on hot pavement.

  • Fun and (Cleaning) Games —  Nothing says summer like scrubbing your cage-bunk.

  • Food  —  When we got it.

  • No Grown Ups  —  Run wild and put a modern-day twist on literary classic, Lord of the Flies.

  • Free Meds! — To help campers cope with separation anxiety, everyone gets psychotropics! Remember, kids: drugs, not hugs.

  • Faux Mock Trial — Lawyer a case before you even learn to talk.


  • Unpaid Internships — Get the privilege of doing free manual labor.

  • New Identity — Are your parents jerks? Ever wish they’d go away? Good news: you may never see those dummy heads again!

  • Lifelong Memories