Future Bombshell Trump Revelations From Elon Musk
Elon left the White House with only a T shirt that read: I gave 250 Million Dollars to Trump and All I Got Was This T Shirt and Stephen Miller’s Wife
Trump can name ‘Person, Woman, Man, Camera, TV,’ but not Ivanka, Eric, Don Jr. Tiffany and Baron.’
Trump’s in the Epstein files so often, it’s known by the FBI as the Trump files with Epstein in it.
Trump was going to offer a retirement stock account called a 401KKK.
Trump isn’t the Antichrist, but he he does owe him money.
Although he was indeed on Epstein Island several times, he was only there to bang underage girls.
Trump gets that orange color by using a discount from Earl Scheib car body paint shops.
Trump smells so bad people call Air Force One… Air Fart One.
The only N word Trump’s never used is ‘nutritious.’
Trump thinks D Day commemorates the day he brought home his report cards.
Trump confused woke with wok and banned Chinese food from the White House.
If he lost to a Harris, Trump was planning on hosting a game show called the Amazing Racist.
Muary Povich is sitting on the results that Eric Trump’s real father is Gary Bussey.
Trump Hit Elon with parking tickets for that day the Tesla’s were parked on White House Lawn.
Melania was heard calling out Oooooooh Canada last time Justin Trudeau was in Washington DC
Trump was so far up Putin’s butt he could look out and see Sarah Palin’s house.
Loves McDonalds, won’t eat it from a location near “that part of town”.
Despite his horrid, criminal actions, Trump does not fear comeuppance; mostly because he has no awareness of said word.
The Trump Commemorative scratch n’ sniff collectible coin is going to smell like sun-warmed egg salad. As per the namesake’s specific instructions.
The tie is so much longer than a normal tie so it can be used as a disguise in the event that he needs to go undercover as a sumo wrestler.
His mysterious burnt orange face paint was introduced to the world right around the same time he began fishing around in Ivanka’s bathroom trash for dried menses.
Is such a big fan of Kanye because during their initial meeting, Trump heard “raper” rather than “rapper”.
Has been described by more than one acquaintance as “like a swarm of locusts with diaper rash”.
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Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence
- About the Author
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Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of — winning the Noble Peace Prize or sending, Congolese gynecologist, Dr. Denis Mukwege to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of African women in war torn countries. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has written for Weekly Humorist, National Lampoon, American Bystander, Huff Post Comedy, McSweeney’s, Bombeck Writers Workshop Blog, Humor Times, written and/or produced for multiple TV shows and written standup material that’s been performed on Maher, The Daily Show, Colbert, Kimmel, etc. Now, on to Paul’s time-commanding Special Forces in Khandahar…
