HOlympics
The outrage over the Olympic opening ceremony has reached such a peak, angry Christians announced they are creating their own Olympic-style games which will be wholesome and semi-non-domination. The group have released a partial list of events planned for the first HOlympics:
Hop skip and ascend
Donation Basketball
Power walking on water
Deacon-thalon
4×4 Transubstantiation
100 mitre Dash
Good-minton
Stigmata Handball
Canoe Shalom
Water-into-Wine Polo
Bless-ball
Martyr-thalon
Judo-Christian matches
Sermon-on-the-Mount-ain Biking
Divine Diving
The Sign of Lacrosse
Trinity-athlon
Weight-of-Sin Lifting
Wrestling (with demons)
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I’m a writer and live in New York City. Downtown New York. Very downtown New York. Okay, I live in Staten Island. Armed with only my wits and a keyboard, I’ve written for Cracked Magazine, The Adventures of the Galaxy Rangers, Prairie Home Companion, Mad, TMI: Hollywood, and other stuff.
