Originals
Jurassic Thrill Park Memo
I think I’ve discovered why the parks keep failing. And it’s an easy fix: Roller coasters!
Entries by Dan Fiorella
Originals
More Bluey for You-y
Doggie Style: Bluey and Bingo get into trouble when they advertise a fashion shop they’re setting up in their backyard.
Originals
Team Trump Online Memes Updates
Godzilla: Hey, when you think about destroying a corrupt town like Washington D.C., what comes to mind quicker than Godzilla? Imagine Prez Trump’s head over Godzilla’s as he stomps through town screaming “MAGA” or “Sleepy Joe!” (depending on focus group feedback) and we can turn the fleeing populous into members of the Demon-cratic Party (pretty good, right? I just made that up now). I think we can use video from January 6th. There’s a lot of footage there.
Originals
Countdown to Valentine’s
These movies, they’re just not how people behave. How do you have women throwing away a committed relationship because of some “Meet-cute” scene in a small town?
Originals
#Live Tweeting the Wait Line for Slinky Dog Roller Coaster
Things are moving now! We just moved up 5 places! Oh, wait, it seems a family ahead of us passed out and are being removed from the line. Still, we’re moving up!
Originals
Avoiding No-Well
Mistletoes: similar to athlete’s foot, an infection caused by wearing stockings not hung with care. It can be easily treated with a medicated tannen-balm.
Originals
Lesser Known Holiday Specials
Murder on the Polar Express: The kids are forced to solve the murder of Mr. Conductor with the help of Hercule Poirot, who just happens to be on the train.
Originals
Thanksgiving Internationale By Chef Louis
You would think it would be hard to top that. Yet, we have! For desert, the cranberry flambe! Oui. It gives you a real reason to be thankful, no?
Originals
Lame Late Night Horror Shows
“Frankenstein Meets the Press”- We get the monster’s views on bread and fire.
Originals
Elon Musk’s Proposed Fee Schedule for X (formerly Twitter)
Per Post- .001, Per Re-post- .002, Per Musk Re-Post- free, and more!
Best of 2023
Hollywood Memo: I.P. Daily
Star Jaws: An intergalactic space shark threatens the Republic of Planets and a scrappy band of rebels are called in to destroy it.
Originals
Depressing Karaoke Night
HOST: Oh, you came. Welcome to Depressing Karaoke Night. If you’re not bummed yet, you totally will be.
Originals
Take Me Out to the New & Improved Ballgame
Zipline Substitutions: Instead of waiting forever for a new pitcher to reach the mound, he’ll zipline in from the bullpen.