Implications of Twitter Giving Everyone 280 Characters

Forces Trump to wake up twice as early to maintain current tweetstorm intensity.

Deflates egos of those who already had 280 characters on experimental basis.

Creates jobs for journalists fact checking Kellyanne Conway tweets.

Makes it easier for Rand Paul and his neighbor to settle their disputes on Twitter.

One tweet can now list all of Trump’s legislative accomplishments.

Accommodates 35 covfefe hashtags.

Gives pinheads opportunity to include 140 more exclamation points.

Enables Putin bots to include Russian and English versions in the same tweet.

Increases wear and tear on Trump’s baby hands.

Doesn’t increase amount of useful information shared on Twitter.