Inanimate Objects the GOP Might Nominate for the Mid-Term Congressional Elections

Orange traffic cone

Box set of Ted Nugent CDs

The remains of Donald Trump’s smashed up Hollywood Walk of Fame star

A Bible with a bullet in it

An AR-15 with a bump stock

A MAGA hat

A box of Trump Steaks, unopened

A flaming bag of dog poop

One of Dennis Rodman’s nose rings

An American flag wrapped around a football with the phrase “Real Americans Stand for the Anthem” written on it with a Sharpie

A blank, white piece of paper

The White House curtains James Comey tried to use as camouflage

Melania’s “I Really Don’t Care, Do U?” jacket

A novelty coffee mug with “Liberal Tears” printed on the side

Roy Moore’s high school yearbook

Paul Manafort’s prison jumpsuit

A confederate flag

A white bed sheet with eye holes

A Matryoshka nesting doll with Ivanka Trump’s likeness painted on it

An InfoWars bumper sticker

A greasy Chick-Fil-A bag with fourteen waffle fries in it

Human-sized rubber stamp