Jack Off Joe Toy Catalogue

‘Horrible’ Harvey Weinstein…$8.99
The original–and some still say the worst–figure in the Jack Off Joe line. Comes complete with Academy Award and ill-gotten “Power-Stance.”

‘Cheeky’ Charlie Rose…$7.99
Ported over form the Hasbeen™ Dinosaur line of action figures, this broadcaster is known for groping women, making lewd phone calls and terrible, terrible, round-table interviews. Clothing not included.

‘Lousy’ Louie…$8.99

Everyone’s ex-favorite comedian is here in a fully realized, anatomically correct figurine! Want to see what all the fuss was about? Twist his arm, even just a bit, and–Pop!–He’ll show you! Don’t worry, though, his automated voice-box asks for permission first, because consent is so important to him.

‘Grabby’ George Bush…$12.99

Former war hero straight out of the G.I. Joe line, this presidential pervert has spent the past 

20+ years taking picture and playing grab-ass. Can he get away with it without besmirching his legacy?–you decide!

“Huggin’ John Lasseter…$9.99
The man who brought Disney animation back to its glory days–and the workplace back to the stone age. Come with cute shit, neat toys and zero sense of personal space.

‘Double-Sided’  Jeffery Tambour…$10.99

On one side, we have the beloved, progressive star of the critically-acclaimed Transparent. But, remove the costume and you have just another old creep.

 

Order Today!

…and don’t forget these, coming soon to a store near you:

 

-‘DirtyTalking’ Dustin Hoffman

-‘Teen Leader’ Kevin Spacey

-‘Door Locking Matt Lauer.

-‘Potion Making’ Bill Cosby

-‘Still Working’ Woody Allen

-‘Pussy Grabbing’ Donald Trump