Lesser Known Characters From The Star Wars Universe

Torvin Gharr

Friendly bog creature that Princess Lea bullied daily in high school.   Made a fortune with her popular website, Bog Blog.

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UB40

R2D2’s Jamaican cousin.     Relieved of Jedi-duty due to an extreme Wookie hair allergy.

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Nanneth Korv

Exotic dancer at the Death Star’s gentlemen’s club, The Emperor Says “No Clothes!”.   Frozen in carbonite for causing Darth Vader to suffer messy embarrassment during a lap dance.

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Pongla

Middle-aged (4000 + years old) member of the Sand Guilde.    Works weekends as Jabba The Hutt’s official cleansing engineer.  (butt-wiper)

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Blargle Korfph

Hyper-intelligent mucous orb.   Caught HPV from Boba Fett during a hot-tub party back in college.

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Vincent Price Is Right

Secret weapon being devised by the Empire; a clone combing the DNA of Vincent Price with the DNA of Bob Barker.    Unable to control without significant Empire-staff casualties, ultimately received two laser blasts to the back of the head.

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C3PU

C3PO’s less hygienic cousin.    Somewhat infamous for creating YoohooPorn, home to thousands of chocolate milk enema videos.

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Tangy Wangy

Sentient boil on the left buttock of Han Solo.    Provides sound tactical advice during the heat of battle, and always has a sympathetic ear during times of crisis.   Was accidentally popped while Han Solo attempted to squeeze into a Stormtrooper uniform.

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Greedo In A Speedo

Greedo insists this is a distant relative of his, but rumors persist that he’s simply attempting to explain away photos from an illegal Tatooine swingers club.

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Vlardth .03

Empire droid built and programmed to send out a constant stream of Darth Vader’s dick pics.