Like My Work? Buy Me a Coffee (Shop)!

Thanks so much for reading my work! If you enjoyed it, you can click this little button below to tip me enough to buy a coffee shop.

No, I don’t mean a single coffee. I mean an entire shop.

Right here. The button that looks like a teeny-tiny coffee shop. How cute is that?

I know what you’re thinking: Isn’t it a bit much to ask someone to tip you enough to purchase a local coffeehouse in exchange for a 3-minute read? How much does a coffee shop cost, anyway? It’s got to be a lot, right? Are we talking independent or franchise? Do you even know the first thing about running such an establishment?

I don’t really feel like answering those questions.

Look, it’s no secret that earnings on this platform have been down. It’s never an easy time to be a writer, but when you’re making pennies on work that used to reliably earn you more, you start to get especially desperate. A little supplemental income would really make things feel less bleak, you know?

That’s why I’m politely suggesting (not coaxing) you to give me enough capital to purchase a small- to mid-sized café with enough seating for at least twenty-five, drive-thru optional. Only if you feel so inclined, I mean.

Coffee shops are where I get my best work done, so it just makes sense. If I own the coffee shop where I write, I won’t ever have to worry about getting dibs on the outlet for my laptop charger, after all.

Like many a writer, coffee helps my process and prolongs my scribbling stamina. Imagine how much more I’ll get written if I have unlimited access to caffeine. I’ll be churning out my best work yet, and definitely not light-headed, buzzed drivel.

Will my responsibilities of running said coffee shop interfere with all of this writing I plan on doing? Hardly. Lord knows I’ve spent enough time in them that grinding, frothing, and ringing up a few orders will be tasks I can easily handle between paragraphs.

Plus, I imagine a decent number of my customers will be writers themselves and thus understanding enough to patiently wait an hour or two for their Americanos if I’m deep in the creative zone, especially after they learn I obtained this little cash cow via donation. If there’s one thing writers are known for, it’s that we’re never envious of each other’s successes.

Anyway, no pressure. It’s not like you have to tip or anything. It’s merely a nice way to show that you appreciate a starving artist’s work. I promise I won’t judge on how much you do (or don’t) gift me. Just bear in mind that tossing me a couple hundred thousand would give me the time and security to focus on giving you more of my offbeat but delightful wordsmithing.

I won’t be displeased if you also choose to send my writing links to friends and then encourage them to chip in for things like payroll, taxes, supplies, utilities, marketing, and merchandise featuring my name and new logo. Sharing is caring, after all.

While you’re doing that, I need to run out to the bookstore and pick up copies of Coffee for Dummies as well as Small Business for Dummies. No reason—they sound like interesting reads.

Hey…this bookstore has a coffee shop inside of it! I could sell my work in the same place you generously purchase for me. Brilliant, huh?

Let me get in touch with management and get a quote for you.

And thanks!