More Trump Poems – Weekly Humorist

Recently President Trump used the forum of a press conference in order to read a poem comparing immigrants to a “vicious snake”. The guy can barely string together two coherent words on his best day, so while offensive, this was quite an impressive accomplishment! What other flights of literary fancy could he be hiding up his overly long sleeves?

Without permission, I’ll grab your kitty,

Cuz baby, I own this city,

Look, when you’re a star,

Your looks can be subpar,

And you’ll still get someone who’s pretty.

These folks who say they’re trans?

My base quite frankly aren’t fans.

We just can’t quite trust,

These men with a bust,

They just don’t fit in our klans.

Hey, how about those tax cuts?

Everyone said I was nuts!

You save a dollar,

And still live in squalor,

While my pals all live like King Tuts!

I guess it made my wife sore, no?

When I banged a chick in porno.

I explained, she’s a slut.

Baby, you’re Pizza Hutt.

And Stormy is just a Digiorno.

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Kit Lively

Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence

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