New Product Ideas From The Makers of “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter!” Who Are Losing to The Clean Food Movement
“All Cottage Cheese Looks This Weird”
“No One Said These Were Real Eggs”
“Fuck You, It’s Guacamole”
“Sour Cream Or Greek Yogurt?” Does It Matter?
“You’re Still Eating Bacon, Huh?”
“Yes, Mayonnaise Tastes Like This. Jeeze.”
“You Thought These Were Raisins?”
“This Is What You Get For Going Off Complex Carbs”
“I Can’t Believe You Thought Coconut Oil Would Taste The Same As Butter”
“Just Eat It! It’s String Cheese!”
“Who Do We Have To Kill To Get You To Try This Hummus?”
“Ketchup Without Preservatives Isn’t A Thing”
“You Wish These Were Capers”
“Stop Looking For The Nutritional Value! They’re Yams!”
“Potato Chips Count As Paleo. Sure.”
“Frozen Pizza Isn’t The Enemy. Intermittent Fasting Is”
“WHAT’S WRONG WITH MIXED NUTS NOW??”
“Rachel Ray Made Up EVOO”
“Oh But Protein-Infused Ice Cream is Okay?!”
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Ally Hirschlag is a writer from Brooklyn who lives with mild anxiety over what her cats are doing in the other room. You can find her work at Mic, Upworthy, Teen Vogue, and elsewhere. Follow her on Twitter @allyhirschlag.
