Office Christmas Party Rules That Reflect Current Sexual Harassment Concerns
No more placing the mistletoe above your crotch and referring to it as “mistle-blow”.
Those choosing to sit on Santa’s lap must be wearing pants. Santa as well must be wearing pants.
No pretending that eggnog is anything but what it is. No referring to it as “nut nog” or “running down your leg nog”.
No using the nativity scene baby Jesus to tease Suzanne and make her feel bad about what happened at last year’s Christmas party.
All drunken hook-ups must be pre-arranged at least 72 hours before the party, with all necessary paperwork filled out in triplicate and submitted to HR.
No more using a candy canes, small Christmas trees or items from the Harry & David meat and cheese sampler as phallic props.
All Xerox copies of bottoms must be wearing pants and underwear.
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Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence
