Best of 2023

QAnom nom nom- A Handy Guide On How To Celebrate Thanksgiving While Also Maintaining Your Favorite Batshit Crazy Cult Member Beliefs

Make sure to watch the Macy’s parade with the sound turned completely off, so that the hypnotic deep state sound waves can’t creep into the brains of you and your guests, forcing you all to unknowingly soak up disgusting, Satanic progressive ideals.

After removing the tinfoil from all of the covered dishes, reform as hats and distribute to your guests.

The Cranberries were a rock bad with a female singer; so probably best to not serve cranberries at your Thanksgiving dinner.

Begin initial strategy planning meetings for next month, during which Donald Trump will take over as the new Santa Claus.

You can be confident that the turkey has been tainted with microscopic cameras and even several scoops of food-based spyware, so proceed with extreme caution. Luckily, you can most likely douse the turkey with large amounts of gravy in order to short circuit the carefully hidden devices.

Be sure to eat lots and lots and LOTS of sweet potatoes. If you eat enough, you may possibly eventually gain a healthy orange glow, similar to our esteemed leader!

If you’re having any libtard family member guests over for the dinner, be sure to serve them the leftover stuffing that has been in the freezer since last Thanksgiving.

Most likely, you’re pretty nervous about carving the turkey. Don’t sweat it! Just begin with a deep, swooping motion into the center of the breast, similar to how we sacrifice a pregnant goat right before heading out to each and every Trump rally.