Make sure to watch the Macy’s parade with the sound turned completely off, so that the hypnotic deep state sound waves can’t creep into the brains of you and your guests, forcing you all to unknowingly soak up disgusting, Satanic progressive ideals.
After removing the tinfoil from all of the covered dishes, reform as hats and distribute to your guests.
The Cranberries were a rock bad with a female singer; so probably best to not serve cranberries at your Thanksgiving dinner.
Begin initial strategy planning meetings for next month, during which Donald Trump will take over as the new Santa Claus.
You can be confident that the turkey has been tainted with microscopic cameras and even several scoops of food-based spyware, so proceed with extreme caution. Luckily, you can most likely douse the turkey with large amounts of gravy in order to short circuit the carefully hidden devices.
Be sure to eat lots and lots and LOTS of sweet potatoes. If you eat enough, you may possibly eventually gain a healthy orange glow, similar to our esteemed leader!
If you’re having any libtard family member guests over for the dinner, be sure to serve them the leftover stuffing that has been in the freezer since last Thanksgiving.
Most likely, you’re pretty nervous about carving the turkey. Don’t sweat it! Just begin with a deep, swooping motion into the center of the breast, similar to how we sacrifice a pregnant goat right before heading out to each and every Trump rally.
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Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence