Seeking Entry Level Sidekick For Prominent Superhero

Do you love action and adventure? Does the idea of jetting off to destinations unknown get your blood pumping? Are you at your happiest in the middle of a desperate fight that could determine the future survival of the human race? Then you might be our next Captain Starsun, Inc. Sidekick!

Captain Starsun is looking for a talented self-starter to take over the position from his former sidekick, who was abandoned in a pocket realm that exists outside of time and space. Have no fear, the chances of that happening again are zero to five.

The ideal candidate is a rock star with excellent combat training, alien technology and language experience and incredible organizational skills. Duties for the sidekick position will be tailored to whatever disaster is currently striking the same 10-block radius of Manhattan as the last catastrophe.

Here at Captain Starsun, Inc. we know your needs come first so we do offer great perks such as all-expense paid intergalactic travel, amazing costumes that double as body armor and free coffee!

This position will be based in New York City, but expect to travel at any minute. The Sidekick is a full-time position plus nights, weekends and all holidays. The Sidekick will be assigned to Captain Starsun and will be required to answer his call at any time.

Due to the nature of the position, there is a risk for extreme bodily harm. Our generous benefit package does not include actual healthcare, but we do provide in-house care administered by our butler who has become surprisingly adept at setting broken bones. This position comes with zero sick days.

Qualifications:

• 3+ years experience is required in any profession that could be considered “thrilling” (trapeze, firefighting, accounting).
• A bachelor’s degree or higher.
• Must still be enrolled in school. This is non-negotiable.
• Full combat training or willingness to be trained in a series of brutal, almost abusive montages.
• Able to handle quippy dialogue.
• Fluency in the following languages: Gwarthindi, Act’hillihc, S’Thornden God Speech, Spanish
• Tragic backstory or willingness to have your family incorporated into Captain Starsun’s growing attachment to you.
• Proficiency in utility belts not only as a fashion symbol but also for carrying gadgets, accessories and Crunchy Peanut Butter Clif Bars.
• Skilled with using Quickbooks Pro.

Responsibilities:

• Own a kick-ass, derivative name that’s related to Captain Starsun’s. (i.e. Sun Lad, StarGirl, Roy)
• Motivate Captain Starsun to save the world when he’s feeling sort of down about himself.
• Manage inventory of alien, demonic and supervillain artifacts that may or may not be part of an elaborate trap to destroy Captain Starsun.
• Experiment with the alien artifacts and unwittingly release Lt. Chaos on the unsuspecting people of New York City.
• Act as Captain Starsun’s live-in ward after aforementioned tragic backstory that may or may not include the death of your family at the hands of Lt. Chaos.
• Dismantle alien technology as Captain Starsun fights Lt. Chaos in the middle of Midtown.
• Allow yourself to be kidnapped by Lt. Chaos in order for Captain Starsun to have an emotional breakthrough where he realizes that he can still develop emotional attachments with other people after the death of his former Sidekick.
• Assist valiantly in the final battle with Lt. Chaos that destroys that same 10 blocks of Manhattan in which you will receive a fatal injury.
• Identify the most poignant and emotional line to whisper to Captain Starsun as you die in his arms that will galvanize him to fight back against Lt. Chaos and ultimately save the day.
• Track and manage all expenses.

About working with Captain Starsun: This is an excellent position for superstars looking to make their permanent mark on a single man who have no qualms about being the next body in a long line of cannon fodder!

We will not sponsor your joining of any professional organizations such as the Revengers or the Just Us League, as they have never extended membership to Captain Starsun.

Please send your resume, cover letter and costume measurements to HR@CaptainStarsun.com. If you are the right fit, we will be in touch to schedule an interview and a “random” interaction with Captain Starsun where he saves your life and you insist on helping him in his current mission.

Apply today and begin your super-powered adventure!

This position is unpaid.