Who Gets What in the Divorce of America

MAGA gets: Wal Mart  Everyone else gets: Target // MAGA gets:  Book burning. Everyone else gets:  Burning carbs. And more!

Why Don’t You Call her What She Is – Your Octopus *Whore*

What has she got that I haven’t got, Craig? Besides eight mesmerizing tentacles, the ability to change color and texture, and a disinclination to speak? I’ll dye my hair any color you want, but I’m sorry, buddy – I’ve only got the two arms, and neither of them are covered in little suction cups.

Jimmy Buffet Song or How I’m Explaining the Divorce to My Kids from Inside the New Akron Margaritaville

1. A Pirate Looks at Forty 2. Pencil Thin Mustache 3. Changes…

Just Like Camping! Dad’s New Apartment Only Has Plastic Silverware

When Dad’s out of Lean Cuisines he lets us order pizza for dinner. And sometimes when we come over after soccer practice we get pizza for lunch. And also we have cold pizza for breakfast. And one time pizza rolls. I love my Dad so much. And pizza.


You keep the cover, I'll take the wagon. Today's cartoon by Matt Percival.

Valentine's From Your Mom's New Boyfriend

You're a the way OWL be moving my Bowflex into your playroom.

Cakes Religious Bakers Are Willing To Make

If you live in a God-fearing town, there are plenty of non-traditional,…


Mark and Sandra have been star-crossed lovers since the very…

The Crossword Couple!

NOTE TO READERS: "The Crossword Couple," Eric and Colleen Belknap,…