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Headlines From the Dominion / Fox News Trial We Will Never Get To See...

Fox Newscasters Arrive at Court Hearing Atop 4 Flying Horses, Swarm of Locusts Found on Sean Hannity During Pre Trial Security Screening, Judge Jeanine Pirro Appears Anxious, Uneasy In Presence of Real Judge, and more!

If the Liberals Have Their Way, There Will Be No Bangable Chocolate at All

I mean, have you ever tried to get past first base with a Hershey’s Kiss? It’s beyond frustrating. But you try, and try again, and then you go home still horny, with all these little incriminating bits of aluminum foil that your wife asks suspicious questions about.

Other TV Networks Follow Fox’s Lead and Debut Their Own Weather Channels

HBO: It’s going to be a scorcher today, which is why none of our weatherwomen are wearing shirts.

Upcoming 2020 Holiday TV Specials

The 3 Wisemen Meet The 4 Horsemen (CMT, Tuesday Dec 15, 3 AM)- Animated special from the creators of The Proud Boys Introductory Guide To Dental Hygiene, voiced by a bevy of your favorite wrestling stars, plus Tim Allen as the voice of a wisecracking baby Jesus. (Some material may be unsuitable for those with an IQ of over two digits)

Other Channels Answer to Shark Week

Tough to compete with Shark Week, but channels have to try! Illustrated list by Bob Eckstein.

Least Successful TV Spin-Offs 

The Creation Myth (CBS) - Severely misreading what made The Big Bang Theory a hit with audiences, CBS executives tried to replicate that success with a sister series, which followed four pious young priests and one ditzy nun all living together in a crowded seminary. 

Fall TV Preview!

America's Fuzziest Home Videos (Sundays, ABC) Home videos that seem to probably be hilarious, but that were filmed so out of focus that it's hard to tell. Adding just the right amount of wacky sound effects will probably help out quite a bit, we hope. You won't be offended at all, though, so take some degree of comfort in that. (Hosted by DJ Jazzy Jeff from his home via Skype)

Hot New Summer TV Shows!

Pillow Talk - Talk show hosted by My Pillow weirdo Michael Lindell. Not sure if this series will go beyond this first episode, which seems to actually be an intervention in disguise, as a group of Mike's friends and family members corner him in an effort to wrestle away the pillow that he's forever creepily cradling. (A&E, Wed 9pm)

Your Favorite New Midseason Replacement Shows!

Show & Cartel: Children of local drug lords show off the interesting items that they've found in the torture-room of their parents' opulent home. (AMC) and more.

New Programming for Fall Season: TV Mashups

Loveboat NCIS, West Wing World, Golden Girls of Gilead Got Talent and more.

Upcoming Rebooted TV Shows

Everyone is out of new ideas, it seems.    In creative mediums…

A Revised Nightly Prayer

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray Bob Mueller my country to…

FOX Executives Discusses The Four

Fox Executive 1: Now this is exciting! A chance to remind people…

Other Things That The Kremlin Would Like An Apology For

President Trump's interview with Bill O'Reilly on Fox News really…