On my way back from the gym, I’ll quickly pop into the grocery store, butcher, fish shop, bakery, a nail salon, and a real estate office to see about taking some apartment tours in the next few days. Rent prices are actually pretty good right now for some reason, so I’m going to set up 7-9 tours for the next few days. Want to get them done in case I actually do have Covid, haha (unlikely, I’ve been so careful, especially when I was in Mexico).

Weekly Humorist News Briefs: Breaking News, Into Little Pieces.

There’s any number of configurations this could take. It’s gonna be a long summer – we could rotate out who watches the kids while the rest of us ménage it up in the rec room. We could watch each other bone. We could wait until the kids are all asleep and throw ourselves a proper orgy. The possibilities are endless.

Think of the hundreds of hours of tearful confessional booth footage that will never be captured, never even make it to the editing room. I’m telling you, this will be our national treasure left buried. Our ark of the covenant. Our holy grail.

Go have a snack and a nap. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

Meta Metamorphosis! In today's cartoon by Joe Wos.