Truly Terrible Tips For Staying Home To Avoid The Coronavirus

Watching The View while at home during the day is not a great way to keep yourself from feeling ill.

If your wife is going to be at home as well, be sure to let her know before you begin lurking around the house during the day in a virus mask.

There is no need to leave a blood-soaked postman uniform spread out on your front porch as a warning to others; a simple sign discouraging visitors should more than suffice.

Those new self-driving cars won’t deliver Uber Eats to your house sans an actual driver.   Just get over it and move on.

If you get a bit stir crazy and just absolutely have to go outside for a few minutes, a hot tub filled with Vicks vaporub is a great place to enjoy an extended coffee break.

You can still have Casual Friday while avoiding the coronavirus at home, as many retailers now carry an extensive line of Biohazard suits that feature shorts pants and festive Hawaiian shirt designs.