The Pro’s And Cons Of Getting High When The Economy Is Low
Moonshine:
Pro- Great way to get buzzed on the cheap.
Con- Exclusively available from backwoods communities of inbred simpletons (ie, Trump voters).
Wine:
Pro- Crushing grapes by foot is a great way to exercise now that most gyms have closed due to the recession.
Con- Cmon, wine? I mean, this is the apocalypse for fucks sake! Can we at least add some lighter fluid or something?
Weed:
Pro- Possibly still the best way to find your inner peace, direct from Mother Earth! Can be easily grown even during a dystopian era.
Con- Munchies are impossible to afford. Fifty seven dollars for a small bag of microwave pizza rolls is sheer madness.
Meth:
Pro- No more teeth means no more high priced solid foods! Don’t worry, generic cheese whiz and baby food are much easier to steal when making your weekly decongestant run.
Con- Have you seen how the cost for homes, even trailer homes, are shooting through the mysteriously stained roof? Who can afford to have their home blow up anymore?
Huffing Paint:
Pro- The drug of choice for those with the least amount of regard for brain cell loss, so maybe you’ll be able to better get along with any Trump loving family members.
Con- Probably won’t be too much longer before artist supplies are outlawed by Trump and co., so ultimately a moot point.
Chewing Tobacco:
Pro- Easily available everywhere, even sold in the elementary school cafeterias of most southern states.
Con- Same as above, I guess?
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Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence
