The Stars of the 2016 Election: Where Are They Now?

If you remember back to what seems like 10 years ago, there were a lot of candidates in the 2016 election. No, really remember back, there were a LOT of candidates.

Like, take a guess how many candidates there were just in the Republican party. What do you think? 8 candidates? Maybe 10? That’s surely a lot.

No, there were 17 candidates!

Combined that with 6 Democrats and 3 serious third party candidates, that’s 26 people who seriously thought they would be president.

And, just like the casts of your favorite shows, it’s hard to remember all those characters. Remember Bobby Jindal? How about Jim Webb? And George Saunders?

By the way, George Saunders is a famous author, he never ran for President, but you didn’t know that–because there were so many candidates.

Some had a serious shot at the office, others had to basically stand offstage during debates, and others never even made it to a debate–sorry third-party candidates and Lawrence Lessig. What ever happened to those candidates?

The Weekly Humorist was curious, so we caught up with some of those candidates to find out where they are now.

 

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Gary Johnson

Ran as: Libertarian

Platform: Vote here if you hate Trump but still can’t vote for a woman.

Where are they now?: Gary Johnson thinks he’s still running. Nobody has the heart to tell him. The reason he hasn’t noticed is because nobody was showing up to his rallies even before the election.

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Jeb Bush

Ran as: Republican

Platform: Related to two Presidents named George Bush. Plus, he put an exclamation point after his name–Jeb! How!Exciting!

Where are they now?: Jeb recently won a race against a hare. The slow and steady approach that didn’t work for him in 2016 finally paid off.

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Jim Webb

Ran as: Democrat

Platform: I killed people in Vietnam.

Where are they now?: Jim has thrown himself into coaching his grandkids peewee football team. The Red Rampagers have a strong defense and the best running back in the 8-year-old division. Coach Webb was only ejected from 5 of the team’s 11 games this past season.

 

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Jill Stein

Ran as: Green Party

Platform: Everything must be green! Jobs, education, foreign policy.

Where are they now?: We are sad to report she’s contracted Gangrene…ironic, right?

 

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Bobby Jindal

Ran as: Republican

Platform: I’m the diverse one!

Where are they now?: After months of campaigning and getting the word out, Bobby Jindal is finally getting people to stop calling him Aziz Ansari.

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Martin O’Malley

Ran as: Democrat

Platform: Mayor of Baltimore during the Freddie Gray protests­–and that went great!

Where are they now?: He’s teaching at Boston College–probably about race…

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Carly Fiorina

Ran as: Republican

Platform: I may be a woman, but I’m about as far from Hillary Clinton as you can get!

Where are they now?: After running unsuccessfully for the Senate in 2010, she decided to run for President in 2016. That means in 2022, she’s planning to put her hat in the ring for Pope!

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Evan McMullin

Ran as: Independent

Platform: I’m a Mormon from Utah–so Mitt Romney 2.0.

Where are they now?: Evan McMullin has been a huge opponent of President Trump and a former CIA agent. Now we’re not saying he’s planning something, but we also haven’t heard anything from him in months. Coincidence?

 

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Chris Christie

Ran as: Republican

Platform: Vote for me, otherwise I’ll sic the Sopranos on you.

Where are they now?: He’s been busy closing down New Jersey beaches so he can sit on them.