Badminton Aunts, Pinball Wizards, Pickleball Playing Bros, and more!

Warren, “Yes, I ate every single plum. And yes, I knew that you wanted to eat them for lunch. But hey, I’m human, and probably the first woman to eat them. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but what if I told you that I’ve got a plan to replenish them? What if I told you that eating them was a part of my plan all along?” 

Both crave attention. Today's cartoon by Bob Eckstein.

Remember back in 2016, where we all jokingly named things we would vote for before we ever cast a vote for Donald Trump? A newly-sentient potato, a painted rock, a sack of dirty hair? Well, now’s our chance to put our money where are mouths are, and support this turd in a box with all the passion we can muster.

When I was a kid, we couldn’t look up candidates on the internet. In fact, we didn’t even know who the candidates were, only that they all had gout. We used to just vote on whoever had least serious case of gout. That’s how Uncle Henry almost became Mayor in ’72. He wasn’t really my uncle. That was just a childhood nickname that stuck. Never did get to be mayor, though. Turned out he had a bad case of shrub pox that came on right before election day.

Many of you’ve probably seen my beautiful wife Echidna knocking on doors around town. Don’t be fooled by her half-reptilian body, she’s the warmest woman you'll ever meet. But maybe keep any babies or pets away from her mouth just to be safe.