The hottest fashion trend making waves this summer is—wait for it—obsolete Apple product accessories! Harken back to the days of old, when the iPhone 4 was the hottest item around, with an old-school USB charger necklace! Keep your hair up with a nice set of headphone wires, or, how about a gorgeous pair of iPod nano earnings? Look great, all while keeping out landfills clean(er)!
On George Lucas’ insistence, Disney will release his “Special Edition” cut of The Force Awakens
in December of this year (it’s cheaper than another legal battle).
Now, a whole new generation of three year-olds can experience the Star Wars resurgence for the first time!
Forthcoming this summer, a leather-bound collection of Kanye West tweets from way back when he was still “cute” crazy, not “batshit” crazy. Resist those glory days of music culture, one nonsense post at a time!
Starting just two years ago as a small group in Warren, Michigan, membership in the “Garfeildites” has since grown to incredible numbers. Their mission? To have Andrew Garfield recognized as the only “true” cinematic Spiderman.
The Microsoft Zune is expected to make a resurgence in the next couple of years, owing to the fact that some audiophiles find the poor file compression and finicky WIFI connection add “character” to the music listening experience.
In 2019, Netflix will hop on the Virtual Reality trend, launching with an application that will allow users to experience what it was like to choose their titles in a rental store. The app will include an extremely limited selection of movies, film-snob AI cashiers looking down on your selections and, naturally, exorbitant late fees. Ah, those were the days!
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Brandon Hicks writes plays performed by real people, and draws cartoons performed by fake people. His work has appeared in Splitsider, The Syrup Trap, American Bystander and regularly on The Rumpus, where he also serves as an associate cartoon editor. Unfortunately, he’s also Canadian.