Truly Terrible Signs You May Be Staying at a Bad Rehab Center
1) In lieu of parents or other family, they allow your dealer in on visitors’ day.
2) After a particularly harrowing bit of group therapy, they encourage taking the edge off with a shot of Wild Turkey.
3) The Arts and Crafts Therapy teacher applauds your ability to throw together a mini meth lab so quickly.
4) Your counselor doesn’t show up to most of your sessions due to being extremely hung over.
5) When your counselor discovers that you used to be a drug mule, he asks if you’ll help him smuggle some office supplies out to his car.
6) Most of your group counseling sessions are spent watching episodes of Celebrity Rehab.
7) During art therapy, you’re encouraged to “reach your inner artist” by sniffing the markers.
8) Your counselor plans several group field trips to local crack-houses.
9) When caught with several joints snuck in by a friend, the staff forces you to smoke them all in one sitting as a punishment.
10) You find auto-tune versions of your group therapy sessions on YouTube.
Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence