Truly Terrible Things About Trump Arraignment
Hands way too small to properly fingerprint.
Body cavity search reveals Don Jr completely up his father’s ass.
The guy seriously smells like the back seat of a GrubHub driver’s car.
Getting that orange shit all over your hands during the frisk. Even after several hours of scrubbing, it won’t come off!
Confiscated personal items found during frisk included several more classified documents. More paperwork to have to fill out on this guy! Goddammit.
Process unnecessarily prolonged by all of the police officers wanting to take selfies with Trump.
Keeps saying the courtroom artist is totally failing because they aren’t using ‘good orange’ and he looks too ‘creamsicle’.
It took seven and a half hours to get his hair ready for the mugshot.
Won’t answer any questions until he’s placed on higher seat than the judge.
He keeps asking everyone about the possibility of conjugal visits with Ivanka.
His incessant demands that the he be appointed as the judge over the case, as he feels that the current judge should be recused for reasons of bias.
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Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence
