Under The Hudson Yards
My fellow Morlocks! I am pleased to announce the completion of our new facilities on the west side of the Island of MOR, which the Eloi call Manhattan. It is my opinion that we have truly outdone ourselves with this project – nowhere in the Known World is there a facility able to attract as tender and succulent a populace as Hudson Yards. In fact, one of the most ingenious features of this new facility is its ability to filter out the tougher and less tractable of the species – certainly, they may be allowed to enter and take a selfie in the Staircase of Confusion, but they will never be permitted to rest their heads anywhere near those of our prize sheep.
Recent technological advances have allowed us to truly maximize our returns with respect to our management of the Eloi – they have taken so beautifully to the helper-spy devices with which we have furnished them, and every day they upload more and more data to help us better understand their needs, which in turn increases their utter dependence on us. And they do this so happily! As the saying goes, convince an Eloi that they are having fun, and they will willingly serve you their own child on a platter.
The Hudson Yards facility represents a huge leap forward in integrative husbandry. The Eloi blithely drop their waste down any number of attractive chutes, which powers our processing machines. We have built a number of energy generators to ensure that our flock will not be threatened by act of God nor by weather made violent by the excesses of their race. Should their society collapse (and that it will is inevitable) our livestock will continue to enjoy a safe existence, ensconced in secure and comfortable pens – they shouldn’t experience so much as a blip in their WiFi service. Wagyu beef has nothing on our delicious Eloi!
In addition to the aforementioned Staircase of Confusion – a shiny bauble we threw in as an added-value data-collection point – every element of the facility serves to dazzle and lull our Eloi into a pleasant daze, a buzzy liminal state between wanting and having – they should ideally be in a constant state of desire, with said desire always being simultaneously fulfilled and replaced with new needs. It is this tension that truly seasons their meat! The dwellings are clad in a metal so shiny that the Eloi can barely hear themselves think (or whatever it is you call what they do between those cute ears of theirs) and disorients them, helping them to forget that a city exists outside the facility and certainly destroying any impulse they might have had to leave. The observation towers help to maintain the illusion, so important to their happiness, that they deserve this facility, that they have earned it, rather than having been bred for it at considerable cost to both our own kind and the less fortunate sort of theirs.
In short, never in Morlock history have we had such a prime source of healthful, delicious protein. I hope you will enjoy both the fruits of our labor and the new Morlock-dwellings we’ve constructed in the tunnels deep below the facility (the existing C.H.U.D. population grumbled something about gentrification, but they’ll get over it). See you in the Shed-beneath-the-Shed for Feast Night!
In Pride and Prosperity,
Nebogipfel
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Emily Flake is a cartoonist, writer, illustrator, and performer. She is a regular contributor to the New Yorker and the Nib, among many other publications. She is the author of a book of essays and cartoons about parenting called “Mama Tried” (Grand Central, 2015). She does a weird hybrid of standup and cartoons on stages throughout NYC and beyond, and is the creator and cohost of a monthly live interview show called NIGHTMARES. She lives in Brooklyn with her husband, daughter, and a frail, elderly cat.