WHO TED IT: Lasso or Nugent?

Test your TED Talk knowledge – Lasso and Nugent, that is! Which of these opposing* caricatures of masculinity is responsible for which quote? The answers may surprise you!
*Or maybe they’re just two sides of the same toxic coin, who knows, shrug emoji

A. “Taking on a challenge is a lot like riding a horse, isn’t it? If you’re comfortable while you’re doing it, you’re probably doing it wrong.”
B. “I think you should ride the line between fatigue and chaos. The chaos keeps the energy level and spontaneity maximized, while fatigue is just over the edge, and you should try to avoid it.”
C. “Only criminals and bloodsuckers reward bad behavior.”
D. “I’ll tell you sort of an odd story: My music taste changed on 9/11. And it’s very strange. I actually intellectually find this very curious. But on 9/11, I didn’t like how rock music responded. And country music collectively, the way they responded, it resonated with me.”
E. “I always thought tea was going to taste like hot brown water. And do you know what? I was right.”
F. “I do love a locker room. It smells like potential.”
G. “The war is coming to the streets of America and if you are not keeping and bearing and practicing with your arms then you will be helpless and you will be the victim of evil.”
H. “Like the average American that I hang out with, and like my father before me, I raised all my children to respect tools and use them wisely and safely.”
I. “You know what the happiest animal on earth is? It’s a goldfish. You know why? It’s got a 10-second memory.”
J. “Do you want to feel good, or do you want to do good?”
K.  “As the man once said, the harder you work, the luckier you get.”
L. “Every hateful statement ever made about me is a dirty lie.”

A. Lasso – the “isn’t it” is the tell! The Nuge would never solicit your cosign on an opinion
B. Nugent, but this is Big Lasso Energy
C. Mr. Cat Scratch Fever himself! But which do you suppose he is, a criminal or a bloodsucker?
D. SWITCH! This is actually Ted CRUZ, arguably the most loathsome of all Teds
E. Lasso, but can’t you imagine Nugent saying it?
F. Lasso again, bless him
G. Nuge, natch
H. Nuginator, comin’ for you
I. Lasso – Nugent refuses to acknowledge the existence of any animal he can’t hunt
J. Nugent, because even an asshole clock is right twice a day
K. Mustache enthusiast Ted Lasso, ladies and gents
L. Nuge, but also Cruz, probably, ugh, that guy sucks *so bad*