Originals

Vegetable-Inspired Halloween Candy No One Wants 

Jolly Radishes


Sour Patch Kales


York Bell Peppermint Patties


M&Ms (Mushrooms & Mushrooms)




O-nion Henry!


Peas (with Peas Dispenser)


Whatchamacauliflower


Baby Ruthabaga


Chick-o-Jicama


Now and Tater


Everlasting Gobsquasher


Cotton Cabbage


Kinder Eggplant


Bok League Choy


Candy Corn

by Kelley Greene

Kelley Greene

Kelley Greene is a writer, performer, and sentient wheel of cheese based in Chicago. She has studied at The Second City and iO, and her work has appeared in Points in Case, Slackjaw, Robot Butt, the compilation book “The Awkward Phase”, and more. You can find her online at kelleygreene.pizza or on Twitter/Instagram @kelleygreene.