Vegetable-Inspired Halloween Candy No One Wants 

Jolly Radishes

Sour Patch Kales

York Bell Peppermint Patties

M&Ms (Mushrooms & Mushrooms)

O-nion Henry!

Peas (with Peas Dispenser)


Baby Ruthabaga


Now and Tater

Everlasting Gobsquasher

Cotton Cabbage

Kinder Eggplant

Bok League Choy

Candy Corn

by Kelley Greene

Kelley Greene

Kelley Greene is a writer, performer, and sentient wheel of cheese based in Chicago. She has studied at The Second City and iO, and her work has appeared in Points in Case, Slackjaw, Robot Butt, the compilation book “The Awkward Phase”, and more. You can find her online at kelleygreene.pizza or on Twitter/Instagram @kelleygreene.