What You Need To Know While Watching The Televised Impeachment Hearings
No need to adjust the color settings on your television; the president actually is that odd, sickly shade of orange.
Ukraine is the name of a foreign power, not the name given to one of Kim and Kanye’s children.
Rudy Giuliani is the president’s personal lawyer, not a figment of your imagination brought on by years of near-constant paint huffing.
The Democrat led House would like to have the impeachment wrapped up by the holidays, so that hopefully First Lady Melania can’t freak everyone out with her bizarre and creepy Christmas decorations again.
These are the first impeachment proceedings in over two decades, as well as the 238th impeachable offense that has occurred during the Trump presidency.
Many members of the Republican Senate refuse to watch the televised hearings, opting instead for sessions of binge-watching How To Get Away With Murder.
The president insists that there was “No quid pro quo”, although several White House staffers have suggested that he’s simply been complaining about the lack of Toblerone candy bars in the vending machines, but is unable to pronounce the name of the popular snack.
This is the second time that President Trump has allegedly requested outside foreign help during his presidency, not counting the times that he’s attempted to get a handy from Melania’s sister.
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Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence
