20 Mugs To Get Your Dad For Father’s Day Because You Don’t Really Know Him

It’s almost Father’s Day! Again!

The deepest conversation you’ve ever had with him was about the brand of laptop you bought for work, but you’re pretty sure he was drinking out of a mug for some of that conversation.

Since we know your Dad about as well as you do, we’ve scoured the internet for all the best Father’s Day mugs and evaluated them on their ability to help you avoid any tough or sincere conversations with your old man.

---

 

“WORLD’S BEST FATHER” MUG

Frankly, you don’t feel comfortable making this claim.

“WORLD’S BEST FARTER” MUG

A promising pick. Implies familial intimacy – you can talk about bodily functions! – while remaining blessedly non-specific.

“I LOVE YOU” MUG

This feels aggressive.

“WE LOVE YOU” MUG

You don’t want to speak for your siblings.

A MUG WITH A PUN ON IT

The only danger with here is that you might have gotten him this exact mug before.

A MUG WITH A PUN ABOUT BALLSACS ON IT

Wow. There are a lot of these in the “Father’s Day Mug” section of every website.

ONE OF THOSE COOL MUGS WHERE THE PICTURE ONLY APPEARS WHEN YOU PUT HOT WATER IN

You will tell him it can’t go through the dishwasher. He will immediately run it through the dishwasher.

CUSTOM MUG FEATURING A PHOTO OF YOUR BELOVED FAMILY CAT

Okay, this one would really be more for your Mom – she’s the only one who feeds the cat. But she’s also the only one who calls you, so it makes more sense to celebrate her today.

CUSTOM MUG FEATURING A PHOTO OF YOU AND YOUR DAD

The last photo you have of just the two of you together is from when you were 15 and you’re not 100% sure he’ll recognize you.

A MUG WITH THAT FAR SIDE CARTOON ABOUT THE COW TOOLS

This cartoon represents the only time you’ve ever seen him truly laugh.

“I WISH THIS WERE BEER” MUG

You know he loves beer! Though, you now have a vague but nagging memory that he stopped drinking last year… Or was it that Mom wanted him to stop drinking last year? Either way, this could provide some excellent dark humour that both your parents will hate.

LOGO MUG OF HIS FAVOURITE SPORTS TEAM

Don’t know his favourite sports team? Ask your older brother, he’s the one your Dad took to the games.

DEAR DADDY, I LO-

No. No. I’m going to stop you right there. We are not 12 and we are not from the South. Let’s just forgo anything that implies the two of you ever attended a Daddy-Daughter dance.

DUNDER-MIFFLIN LOGO MUG

A safe pick. Either he’ll like it because he watched The Office, or he’ll like it because he thinks you finally got a real job.

A COOL MUG MADE LOCALLY

You moved away from your hometown years ago, so it could be nice to send him something from your new city that he’s never visited. Of course when he slags off the “artsy-fartsy” mug you’re going to get weirdly defensive of the farmer’s market artisan who made it.

 

MUG FEATURING HIS ASTROLOGICAL SIGN

Hahaha just kidding – can you imagine how much he would hate this?

MERCH MUG FROM HIS FAVOURITE POLITICIAN

Honestly, you don’t have the guts to find out what his current politics are.

GARDENING MUG

Finally! We might have really landed on something here – he started gardening this past year! He seems really, genuinely psyched about his goddamn garden!

….Is this gift too sincere? If you make him feel feelings, he’ll never forgive you. Too risky.

“GO ASK YOUR MOM” MUG

Undoubtedly a reflection of his detached parenting style, and just enough of a burn to be enjoyable for you as well. Then again, it may dredge up memories of the time you were in 7th Grade and you asked him to sign a permission slip while he was watching Jeopardy. He replied, “Go ask your Mom,” but you knew that your Mom was busy helping your brother get his sheep costume ready for the nativity play (gluing stuffing onto a leotard requires complete and total concentration). But rather than say “Mom is busy,” you accidentally said, “You never help me.” Your dad’s face went cold. His breath went short. He turned off the TV, which he never does, and he met your eyes, which he definitely never does, and said, “Are you saying I’m a bad parent?” And then because you didn’t answer quickly enough, he didn’t talk to you for a month which really upset your mother. It might be a bit much to remind him of all that on Father’s Day.

Maybe a Christmas gift?

PLAIN WHITE MUG

Symbolically representative of the sum total knowledge you have of his inner life. Perfect.

 

 

Or just pick one of these mugs at random. Let’s face it – whatever you get for him, he’s going to keep using one of the 12 identical Vitrelle mugs your Mom got at Costco.