A Passive-Aggressive Conversation Between My Loud Neighbor And Me, Via Wi-Fi Network Names

My Wifi Network Name: 

Turn Down Your TV

Seriously I Can Hear Everything You’re Watching

You Know, Other People Live Here Too

I Can Hear Your Phone Conversations As Well-5G

Also, Your Fights With Your Girlfriend Are Really Loud and Inane

Do You Ever Leave Your House?

I Know More About Your Life At This Point Than Everyone I’m Related To

For The Love Of God, Just Watch Something Else Besides MSNBC!

My Neighbor’s Wifi Network Name: 

Wait, Have These All Been Directed At Me?

My Wifi Network Name: 

Yes! The Loudness Is Very Disruptive

Him: 

Well Who Told You To Listen?

Me: 

I’m Not Trying To, But It’s Like You’re In My Living Room

Him: 

I Can Do Whatever I Want When I’m In My Own Home

Me: 

True, And I Could Teach Tap Dancing To Ritalin Addicts While Cooking Borscht Every Night But I Respect My Neighbors

Him: 

If You Don’t Like It Then You Can Just Move

Me: 

No I Can’t, This Is Rent Controlled! You Should Have To Move Since I Was Here First

Him: 

Go To Hell

Me: 

Been There Ever Since You Moved In

Him: 

Why Are We Fighting?

Me: 

I Don’t Know, I Want To Like You

Him: 

Me Too, You Seem Like A Thoughtful, Decent Person

Me: 

I Appreciate That, And For What It’s Worth You’re Not Crazy, Angela Was Not Validating Your Feelings Last Week

Him: 

Right!? It Was Like She Just Wasn’t Hearing Me

Me: 

I Heard You Loud And Clear, Friend. I Guess That’s Kind Of The Whole Issue, Haha!

Him: 

LOL! I’m Glad We Had This Talk, Neighbors Never Communicate Anymore, You Know?

Me: 

You’re Right, Can I Come Over And Borrow a Cup of Sugar?

Him: 

NETGEAR99