Executive Order Declaration Concerning Bring Your Daughter to Work Day 2025

WHEREAS the 24^th of April, 2025 has been designated “Bring Your Children to Work Day” and people are going to do it again anyway:

NOW, THEREFORE, by virtue of the authority vested in me as President of the United States, by the Constitution and the statutes of the United States, and as Commander-in-Chief of the armed services, it is hereby ordered as follows:

1) It is hereby declared that during my term as president the day shall revert to it’s birth name, “Bring Your Daughter to Work Day” because I am not bringing Don Jr. and Eric here again.

2) That federal employees, as they are the only ones I can actually boss around with these things, will only be permitted to bring their daughters to work if they are an 8 or better, in the looks department.

3) Woman who possess “Mar-a-Largo Face” will be deemed “daughters” for the purpose of this Executive Order.

4) Don’t try to fool me with any daughters by pronouns.

5) Peter Hegseth, in his very important position as the United States secretary of defense, will be permitted to bring his wife to work and any meetings held.  Also his brother.

6) For Ivana Trump Whatever-Her-Married-Name-Is-Again, every day will be “Bring Your Daughter to Work Day.”  She knows this lap is always reserved for her.

7) If you do not have a daughter, you will be required to rent or borrow one.  And once again, I remind you, she has to be an 8 or better.

8) For the purpose of this executive order, any and all billionaires, mega-donors and Russian assets will be designated “daughters.”

9) And just a reminder, my presidential immunity extends to any daughter-related incidents.

Signed

Donald J. Trump

President in Chief