Aphrodisiacs That’ll Get You Real Horned Up In No Time

Someone else’s leftovers

Costco samples

A lettuce leaf that lightly brushes your cheek while it’s being fed to you

Free bread

The word “peach”

Talking about ordering oysters and then agreeing that oysters are gross and splitting fries instead

Splitting fries

An onion ring that snuck into your basket of fries

A dozen hard boiled eggs (if you arrange them right)

A dumped out box of raisins that accidentally spells “69”

A sneaky extra sip of church wine

A muffin crumb you found in your bra even though you don’t remember when you last ate a muffin

Pepperoni pizza (get it because the pepperonis look like nipples)

Biting into a chocolate and oh thank god it’s not orange cream

Alphabet soup but all the letters write out “doin it”

When you eat while watching TV and the show finishes at the same time you finish your meal

A sandwich someone else made for you

When you show up at your friend’s house and their mom is like “I made snacks just in case”

A row of baby carrots and then surprise one normal sized carrot

Birthday cake for a coworker who didn’t make you sing to them

How you remember those cheese dipper snacks tasting but not how they actually taste

The second sip of a glass of Sprite after you initially expected it to be water

Whatever is in the fridge of the family you’re babysitting for

Tacos but not just for the reason you’re thinking

Tiny versions of big foods and vice versa

Talking about eating Tide Pods but not actually eating them like jfc what are you thinking

Lemonade in a water cup

A piece of Wonder Bread you smoosh into a dense ball and eat like it’s some kind of white, carb-y truffle

Craft beer some dude didn’t try to explain to you

Any food delivered to your house that you get to eat alone