Entries by Ali Kelley


Jimmy Buffet Song or How I’m Explaining the Divorce to My Kids from Inside the New Akron Margaritaville

1. A Pirate Looks at Forty 2. Pencil Thin Mustache 3. Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes 4. Jamaica, Mistaica 5. Last Mango in Paris 6. Acrimony in Akron 7. Another Saturday night 8. Why Don’t We Get Drunk 9. It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere 10. Son of a Son of a Sailor (and according to […]


Welcome to the “Humpkin Patch,” Connecticut’s Only 18 And Over Pumpkin Patch

Risqué photo ops? We got ‘em! We know you dirty fall deviants love to stick your head in all kinds of holes. That’s why we’ve painted a series of erotic scenes for you to insert your face into. Do it for the ‘gram! But be warned: The scenes depicted violate several codes of conduct on all major social networks.


Mary-Kate and Ashley Movies Updated for 2019

Twins, and heirs to their family’s designer jean fortune, Bianca and Taylor are attending USC this fall on a full field hockey scholarship. The only problem? They don’t play field hockey. Now their mom is being indicted on charges of fraud and extortion.