Jordan: Did you hear Chris say you can compost human waste if you do it right?—I’ve known the guy my whole life and have never seen him take an interest in shit. Me: Well, it’s a sad truth that “only 24% of people in major cities know all or most of their neighbors,” Pew Research. And don’t you and Chris have to take two trains to see each other? Means you’re essentially strangers.
And if you’re as only good as your last joke, then stepping onto a stage with no material written certainly induces fear. Which is exactly what makes Live Without Fear so good: we’re seeing both a product and a process.
I Am Not Throwing Away My Slot: Vigilance, Grit and Determination in the Face of All Odds of Snagging an Instacart Delivery Time, with Lin Manuel Miranda
Extend The ‘Five-Second Rule’ To Food I’ve Dropped On The Floor To The End Of The Current Business Day, and more.
Oh, and you look like a corpse when you wear yellow. It’s not “fun” if you’re an ambulating cadaver. Donate your yellow garments, girl.
“I swear I’m going to finish, even if it kills me.” “It’s all about rhythm.” “It’s the perfect addition to any breakfast!” And more!
It’s just what the doctor ordered: craft cocaine is all physiological benefits, no calories. Coffee has 1 calorie if you drink it black, but everyone knows you don’t drink it black, you fat f’ing narc.
“But what if it starts on a boat, but then the protagonist ends up on an island?” you may ask. To which I respond, “Didn’t I cover that with Defoe? You’re thinking of H.G. Wells, aren’t you, you obstinate monster? Or Charles Dickens’ seldom-discussed shipwrecked narratives, I bet, you contrarian beast? Did I stutter? No. Boats.”
As a powerful woman who is supposed to hate all other women and nonbinary people almost as much as I hate myself, this email serves to confess I can’t. I just can’t and I need your help. It’s terrible and really going to limit my trajectory at Generic RideShare App™, but there are some sexist double-standards I just can’t help but have.
But Earth’s menopause has proved to me it isn’t fake—or it’s a really good fake. One of the best fakes. We need to ask ourselves this important question: why is another woman trying to punish us? What is she trying to get out of doing?
We’re all gathered at the Colosseum today to talk about the unsettling allegations against people in my position. And you know that position: dick out.
Your significant or not-so-significant other may want to try something new — let them. Meanwhile, you can watch Steve Harvey dance with contestants on ‘Family Feud’ or laugh with guests on ‘STEVE’ via the phone you conveniently hid under your bed. Smart! But if they leave it up to you to choose the position, here […]
