Entries by Cara Marino


Other New Florida State Board of Education Guidelines

World War I: Not necessary to teach – too boring. World War II: Describe how even broads can find a place in society once learning a marketable skill. Catholic Church sexual abuse cases: Never happened. And more!

Best of 2020

I am Andrew Cuomo’s PowerPoint Presentation and I Will Save This Country

I will not and shall not be tainted by Comic Sans. It’s Arial. All-day, every day. If I am feeling saucy, then perhaps Helvetica. SOMETIMES ALL CAPS. If I am really trying to get a point across, those words will be colored. What color? •Butterscotch.


The Year Santa’s OCD Ruined Christmas

He’s making a list and checking it twice…he’s checking it again, just to be sure. Oh dear, the “t” on Robert’s name wasn’t quite crossed correctly. Better check the list again. It seems “Sally’s name has one “l” that’s not quite identical to the other “l”. He’d better create a new list.


Other Times Meghan Markle Has Broken Royal Protocol

Meghan Markle has caused a stir by breaking royal protocol many times including not wearing panty hose, baring her shoulders for royal events, and most recently touching her husband’s arm in public. Here are some other, less reported faux pas: She has put ketchup on her fish and chips, but not even in a small […]


10 Alternate Expressions to Use When “Cutting Onions” Seems Played Out

Ok, so you just read something that brought tears to your eyes, but somehow you do not want to admit that fact to internet strangers about how moved you are. You’re cooler than that. Use these introductory phrases instead: I’m not crying, you’re crying! Oh man, my allergies are acting up. Hay fever, anyone? My […]


Mar-A-Lago Menu (In the Event of Your Eventual Food Poisoning)

“Mr. Trump’s” Braised White Toast* $50.00 Chilled Pepto Bismol Served in Brandy Snifter $45.00 Shaved Ice $30.00 Single Organic Banana $30.00 “Mr. Trump’s” White Rice, lightly salted* $50.00 3 Saltines $35.00 The Most Beautiful Piece Of Chocolate Cake You Have Ever Seen $75.00 *white only, no substitutions


Wall Street’s Additions to Fearless Girl

PRESS RELEASE FROM STATE STREET GLOBAL ADVISORS. Due to the overwhelming interest and popularity for the “Fearless Girl” sculpture on Wall Street, NYC Mayor Bill DeBlasio has announced several other installations that will be added over the course of the year in partnership with State Street Global Advisors. “Fearless Girl”, installed on International Women’s Day, […]