Counting Down the Days Until the Election with My Donald Trump Advent Calendar

It’s almost Election Day in the United States and I’ve been counting down until November 5th using my Donald Trump advent calendar. Every day I’ve opened a fun, Trump-themed gift, some of the highlights include:

• A bumper sticker of Calvin pissing on John McCain’s grave.
• A Trump University degree (that’s how you get one now – an advent calendar).
• A Rudi Giuliani Fortnite skin. He sweats hair dye and other players can get stuck in it.
• I got to put my cat’s name on a brick in the US/Mexico border wall.
• A vial of dirt taken from the U.S. Capitol on January 6.
• ‘Hang Mike Pence – the board game’.
• A folder of documents marked ‘Classified’.
• Solar eclipse glasses with the lenses popped out.
• An Ashli Babbitt Funko POP (with a 1 in 100 chance of pulling a Deadpool as Ashli Babbitt chase Funko POP).
• Multiple cans of Coke from the ‘Share a Coke’ marketing campaign that say ‘Share a Coke with Ivana’, ‘Share a Coke with Marla’, ‘Share a Coke with Melania’, and ‘Share a Coke with Stormy’.
• A ‘Nuke the Hurricanes’ t-shirt.
• A bottle of ketchup specifically for steaks.
• 33,000 emails from Hillary Clinton.
• Concepts of plans.
• An 8×10 of Kim Jong-un signed by his secretary.
• $5 gift card to the Trump Store in Gatlinburg, TN.
• Kid Rock’s 2010 album ‘Born Free’ with a $13.99 Best Buy price tag still on it.
• A roll of paper towels to use in the event of a hurricane.
• Dr. Fauci’s coordinates.

I’m hoping the gift on November 6 is a newspaper with the headline ‘KAMALA HARRIS WINS’ and also maybe a story about McDonald’s bringing back All Day Breakfast cause I miss having a sausage McGriddle at three in the afternoon.