Dad Jokes: Just the Punchlines
Cardi A
Hi hungry, I’m dad!
Not in my backyard!
I don’t know, CAN you assume I don’t want to be resuscitated?
Armed robbery!
Right to BEAR arms!
Because that’s your ‘aunt’!!!
Canni ball!
Now THAT’S what I call corn hole!
Alcoholic? I barely knew her!
How’d that soap on a rope get there?
John Kerry!
Lasagna wings!
When I say tie one on I mean it
I am not the father
Now that’s a ball pit!
Because she’s your boss!
Nice to meet you, “choking to death.” I’m your dad!
It was a real Hit-ler!
Then she said, “yea sure, I’ll make it great again”
Punchlines? More like lunch lines, I’m starving!
The bartender says, I bet you’ll want a TALL one!
Your mother’s car is already self driving- when I’m in it, that is!
Guess you’d be in a pickle
It was me!
And that’s how we got your little sister!
…and I’ll check the fe-mail!
You are all my favorite alibis.
T-bone? More like Pee-bone!
Anyway, now I have love handles
moo-ney
I didn’t say proctologist – I said plumber!
They were grate-ing!
- About the Author
- Latest Posts
List by the comedy writers on the Weekly Humorist team on Pitch!