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Dad Jokes: Just the Punchlines

Cardi A


Hi hungry, I’m dad!


Not in my backyard!


I don’t know, CAN you assume I don’t want to be resuscitated?




Armed robbery!


Right to BEAR arms!


Because that’s your ‘aunt’!!!


Canni ball!


Now THAT’S what I call corn hole!


Alcoholic? I barely knew her!


How’d that soap on a rope get there?


John Kerry!


Lasagna wings!


When I say tie one on I mean it


I am not the father


Now that’s a ball pit!


Because she’s your boss!


Nice to meet you, “choking to death.” I’m your dad!


It was a real Hit-ler!


Then she said, “yea sure, I’ll make it great again”


Punchlines? More like lunch lines, I’m starving!


The bartender says, I bet you’ll want a TALL one!


Your mother’s car is already self driving- when I’m in it, that is!


Guess you’d be in a pickle


It was me!


And that’s how we got your little sister!


…and I’ll check the fe-mail!


You are all my favorite alibis.


T-bone? More like Pee-bone!


Anyway, now I have love handles


moo-ney


I didn’t say proctologist – I said plumber!


They were grate-ing!