James Joyce Writes Taglines for Famous Movies

The 40-Year-Old Virgin

Frolick too late, no joy.

The Social Network

You don’t get to five hundred million chaps without making a few barnacles.

Brokeback Mountain

Heath and Jake climb mountains together, forbidden. Banned by Catholic Church.

The Shawshank Redemption

A prisoner, Red said, is just a prisoner. Murder well?

Blade Runner

Robots with feelings. Had a good Ryan Gosling. Very long film.


None’ere in seas of Dublin, Stephen said. Shark truffle blood. Moo.

The Lord of the Rings

A nosey numbskull lost his nosey ring to nosey small people.

Star Wars

Chewbacca, Stephen hiccuped.

The Godfather

And I thought the Irish were cantankerous, Nosey Flynn said, sighing. Al Pacino-esque violence.

The Dark Knight

He became a bat. He doesn’t chat. Bats!

Pulp Fiction

Suppose Royale with cheese. Kill! Kill!

Fight Club

Men brawl because of the Catholic Church.

Forest Gump

Hungry for chocolates. Jenny hiccuped. Shandygaff?

The Matrix

Life inside the Catholic Church.



Saving Private Ryan

All for Matt Damon, the flies buzzed. War: it always loses a Matt Damon.

The Silence of the Lambs

—I noticed he was eating people!


Are you not entertained, Mr. Dedalus? Rub off blood with Joaquin Phoenix’s pants.

Apocalypse Now

Explosions! Napalm! Nosey Marlon Brando!

American History X

No God for Neo-Nazis, Leopold said, sighing. Skinhead plups.

Terminator 2

Stuck in time Arnold was, stuck.

Schindler’s List

Nosey Liam Neeson from the Taken trilogy. Nazis, again!

The Pianist

—Dribbling a key from his piano he played over and all of Poland wept for two hours and thirty minutes.

Citizen Kane

There are roses that are buds. Newspapers. Overrated?


Suppose a famished Mel Gibson.

Toy Story

Colors! Toys! Yum.

Jurassic Park

—Jeff Goldblum!


A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, but different.