Donald Trump’s Excuses For Not Paying His Taxes

It’s Hillary’s fault.

He’s done plenty of other illegal things, much, much worse… vile, reprehensible stuff, and never had to worry about it; why start now?

Do you know how much it costs to pay the has-beens and losers that populate his reality show? And a few of them, he really did pay! And he got Alan Thicke laid, that wasn’t free.

He wasn’t aware that you’re not allowed to deduct children that have been aborted.

He’s fairly certain that he’s the only actual sentient person existing in reality, and other people and objects are creations of his subconscious, existing only to serve his whims and pleasures. In such circumstances, it seemed silly to pay taxes.

He had been informed by friends and acquaintances that if you’re rich and famous, you don’t have to pay taxes in this country.

Not paying people for stuff is his signature move.

It’s not true, it’s not true. He totally paid all of his taxes, and they were beautifully done. No one had ever seen such an immaculate presentation of taxes being paid. He got a personal phone call and gift from the head guy over there.