Best of 2023

Frequently Asked Questions Regarding Your New Clone 

Congratulations on purchasing your new Cloneique Doppelringer3000. As with any  new household addition, there are bound to be a few questions. Here at Cloneique, Inc.  we have the expert support and useful tips needed to help you make the most of your  whole new you.


How do I turn this thing on?

Is it easy to train my clone to do simple household tasks (clean the dishes, do the laundry,  etc.)?

What is the best way to introduce my friends and family to my clone?

Is it ok to bring my clone into the workplace?

Is it safe for my clone to work long hours?

Are these the right hands? These hands seem way too big.

Why does everyone seem to prefer the company of my clone?

Why is my clone so much more physically imposing and intimidating than I am? Was it really necessary to make my clone this strong?

My wife and the clone are certainly hitting it off. Which is good… right?

My clone has just been made supervisor of my department. Will this give me a leg up in  my career?

I’ve recently found myself unemployed. Is it possible to adjust my monthly payment  plan with Cloneique, Inc?

Great news! My clone has agreed to hire me to do odd jobs around the house! Can you  recommend a good laundry detergent?

That detergent you suggested, how does it do with blood stains?

Is there any way you might be able to remove all records of my reaching out to  Cloneique, Inc? I’d sure hate for the clone to find out about all these questions. Also,  how do I delete the search history from my browser?

(Gasp) The clone is home early! Looks like he’s been out drinking with his clone  buddies!! I-I gotta go!! WHAT’S HE DOING HOME SO EARLY?!?!


This morning I woke up in the clone box. Is there any way to open it from the inside? Is  there a latch or something?